Thoughts While Riding an Up Escalator

Wait, wait, careful... ok go go go.  Phew, made it on.  Hopefully no one saw that clumsy entrance.  Good, no one around.  I want to rest my arm on the moving handrail, but just imagine all the people that have touched that thing.  I doubt it ever gets cleaned either.  I feel like these things were made to increase the walking speed on stairs... I really should climb the escalator stairs, it would be quicker.  Nah, too lazy.  Lazy people are why these were made in the first place.  If I were to walk up the steps, I wouldn't be able to appreciate all the engineering that went into its creation.  Yeah, that's it.  I wonder if the guy behind me is staring at my butt.  Better not check.  Ok maybe I will.  Casually turn your head, angle down slightly... Nope, just looking at his phone.  Almost there.  Ok three, two... jump!  Aaand get back to walking speed.  That was fun.